Please don’t interrupt me while i’m ignoring you.

Love is such a strong word. When we were just little kids, we always thought that love was about hugs, kisses and happiness. But as we grow older, we’ve also come to realise that love isn’t just about happiness; it’s also about rejections, tears and riding through the pain the each heartache brings.

Sorry blog. Let me update you now. For the past month or so, i’ve not been doing anything particularly productive. Ever since school started, i’ve had a significant drop in sleep & social life. But i guess it’s made up with the awesome friends i’ve made. (Y) Getting old, fingers stiff. Shall upload photos.

Credits to BabyJ & my macbook.

This is the breaking point.

Im really thankful to those who have listened to me bullshit tonight. Especially brother Wayne. I don’t like the new me. The one who goes down without a fight, who dissolves into tears at the slightest things. I don’t like it one bit. I must be my strong self again. Though it’s only on the exterior, at least i don’t worry people. Sigh. FML. I’ll post normally, soon.

Start of the end.

How did you spend the New Year?

Tiong > Home > DBG > Parklane > PS > Vivo > Cine > Home

New Year’s Eve
Sara & co came over to my place to slack @ around 12+ & i headed to Ivan’s place after they left. Fell into a deep slumber upon reaching home. Woke up @ 6pm or so & headed to Sakae for dinner. Rushed back & zoom-ed down to DBG to meet Violet  Gayed with my babes. You know who you are -wink- Cabbed to Parklane to buy stuff but we couldnt find it I know it’s damn dumb to cab from PS to Parklane but we were really tired you see. HAHA. (Stanley said that he was waiting for me to ask him out but when i did ask him out, he didnt want to travel from AMK to meet me. Angry! :@) Decided against Zouk & met ZongYao and Charles supposedly to go to KTV @ Bishan. On the train, Violet decided to meet JH @ Vivo. So we got off & then she instantly felt bad. Damn cute ah she.

New Year
We counted down in the train but it was pretty memorable cos there were some angmohs that cheered & stuff so it wasn’t that bad. Drank, smoked & madeout with Violet. HAHAHAHAHAHA. No videos cos her cam lousy & i can’t upload nicolette & my video cos she dont dare. and I swear i’m never touching Chivas again. Martell is still my drink of choice. Chased off shortly as they wanted to clear the area. The boys wanted to go to River Valley to eat, so us girls headed to Cine. Saw MingJie & Co. there too. I already bought alcohol so i helped those noobs buy as well. Met Stanley & co at Level9 while we waited for ‘CIRQUE DU FREAK ; THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT’. Was super high at that point & i think Stanley is secretly annoyed cos i kept disturbing him when he’s playing L4D2. Kept forcing him to help me drink. Oh and did i mention my heels broke & i walked around barefoot? HAHA. They left for their movie so we went outside to slack while waiting for ours to start. Got balloons from a pretty girl & i ran around the place with Violet chasing me, resulting in the release of my balloons. Was quite sad when i returned so i popped Clara’s balloon with my cigarette. camwhored & did many gay stuff. Samuel lyed to me, he didn’t come though he said he would. He really lives up to his name. HAHAHAHA. Though i was high, i vaguely remember Violet fell down while walking! DAMN FUNNY I SWEAR. Happened like twice! Was talking damn loudly and all when i walked into the cinema & got shushed numerous times. Violet & JH left halfway through the movie cos she was drunk & he was ill. After the movie, clara & i sat down and chatted till our first bus. Home & slept till 6pm again. I wasted  like most of my new year sleeping.

I must say that this new year was much better than the previous one. I got hugs from cuties & kisses from pretties. HAHA. Damn sexciting.
Upload the pix later. Bye!

Stanley & his retarded faces.

I MISS YOU TOO B!

There are some days when you just have to hold yourself together because there is no one to glue you back together if you fall apart.

25/12
Sengkang > DBG > Home
Met Jiayang in the morning before heading down with bi & darren . Movie with them & 2 others. ‘ALVIN & THE CHIPMUNKS 2′ totally made my boring day.

26/12
Family outing > Pool&lan with Nikkie&Co > Cathay > Home
Over to Cathay with Reiko after pool/lan. Met alicia & the rest there for hugz/disturbz/gossipz before heading home.

27/12
Church > 313 > ION > Home
Didn’t sleep & went to church. Regretted almost instantly when the pastor opened his mouth. Wasted money @ 313 and ION, sorry mummy! And sorry bro, fly your aeroplane.

Sorry kinda lazy to blog. &&
I MISS YOU TOO HENG WEILING. MEET YOU SOON I PROMISE. MUAX.

HELP!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO PUT NUFFNANG ON WORDPRESS?
I’M LETTING MONEY SLIP THROUGH MY HANDS EVERYDAY

if i have nuffnang i think i’ll do better posts. HAHA.

At the end of the day, you either focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s holding you together.

22nd Dec
Cube > Home.
Photo credits to BabyJ & Baby <3

Shall not upload the video of Baby & I unless she allows. Go spam her blog if you want. HAHA www.pictureperfectdefiant.blogspot.com

23rd Dec
Cube > Sengkang > Punggol > Home
Met BabyJ, bi & darren @ cube. Headed down to Sengkang. Sara came down & we went to Punggol to slack & stuff. Clifford & another guy joined us. Flurry of events. Keimus came down. Cabbed home. Nothing much to elaborate. kthxbai.

Tired of drama.

it’s hard to distinguish who’s real or fake under all these facades. it’s at times like this that i learn more about myself & the people around me. who are the most important people in my life? many times, i place my friends over my family. but i fail to realise that actually, my family are the ones that are always there. mummy in particular love me & cares alot for me. though it gets stifling at times, i know it’s for my well being.

so i ask myself, who are my real friends? i realise that my so-called ‘friends’ and even ‘best-friend’ are not there for me when i need them the most. 6 years of friendship can be destroyed over a girl you’ve known for 6 months. do you call that a bestfriend? ( no, im not talking about zen. )

i ask myself, is it worth committing 100% when you’re unsure of the other party’s feelings? but i feel that to love is to risk not being loved in return. to hope is to risk pain. to try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. i’m sure that i love him so i’ll give it my best. but many times, giving your all isn’t enough. anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. but to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.

i need time to think through my life. may change number soon. i shall end off with a quote.

” The most important relationship in life is the relationship with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you’ll always be with yourself” – Diane Von Furstenberg

Confusion.

If one day you notice we haven’t talked in a while, it’s not because I don’t care anymore.
It’s because you pushed me away.

18th.
Orchard Central > 313@Sommerset > Dhoby Ghaut > Home
Lunch @ AhYat with mummy. Had abalone, sharks fin & birds nest. I know you’re krazy jealous. HAHA. Shopped @ 313’s F21, went crazy i tell you. Every floor just grabgrabgrab stuff. Madluvz. <3 Headed down to P.S to eat and wait for that stupid nicolette. Heng i had 5 retarded people to accompany else i sure kill her. Grace & william came too!  Headed to Daiso & i shall not elaborate on my retarded antics that had them in hysterical laughter. Played CS & L4D. :D:D Having no prior knowledge of the game, i naturally died MANY times in CS. Keimus & Marc got pekchek so they helped me play. HAHA. Our numbers dwindled as many of them left for Supperclub. Did alot gay stuffz with my baby, girlfriend & sara. Fun but tiring. I LOVE SARA’S BUDDHA. HAHAHAHA. Then, they left @ 11+ so laogong & i sat there emo. Caught the last bus back @ 0047AM. Madluvz.

19th.
Cube > PS > Cathay > Parklane > Home
Body clock’s reversed AND I got grinded by an auntie on the bus. Sigh. Headed down to cube & accompanied Joyi till Leslie came down. Cheerup babe! Luv you! After eating with B, we went down to Cube to slack. Lyka boring! Taizi & I left for ‘AVATAR’ supposedly @ Cathay. Upon reaching there, we found out he checked the wrong Cathay. Stupid boy. Walked back to PS & caught our show. 5/5 go watch it! HAHAHAHA. Since he’s already breached his probation, we went ahead for dinner with Sotong & Keimus. Sent him off & headed down to Parklane with baby, mel, justin, yirong & des after that. Evo didnt have enough for the 6 of us so we MaxTune-d while waiting. Cant believe i lost twice to Mel. Lost my touch already. HAHA. Went back to Evo & had a round of L4D2 before i left. Thanks mel & justin for walking with me

No photos cos nobody sent me & i haven’t been bringing my cam out recently. Lyka lazy. Kay bye bitches. <3

You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking you heart.

Cant remember what happened recently but i do remember cutting my hair.
So many movies i wanna watch!

1. Storm Warriors
2. Avatar
3. Bodyguards&Assasins
4. Sherlock Holmes
5. Planet51
6. Zombieland ( pray that i’ll get in )

13th December
Headed straight to church after a night out. Shag ttmx. Met babyJ @ cube after church. Then val came. Arcade, slack etc. Fun!

14th December
Can’t remember

15th December
Met Val & Violet @ dbg. Val & i headed to the arcade while Violet went off. Saw Kelvin there & he malu-ed himself. All of us were laughing like idiots. HAHA. Shanice came & we played for a while. Taizi & i left to catch ‘STORM WARRIORS’. Sorry keimus. Not a bad show i must say. Watched the first part on tv a while ago, and it’s still showing on channel 8! Photos with shiming. Sorry!

16th December
Trying to be a good girl so i’m staying home ( until i get REALLY tempted to go out ). HAHA. Still contemplating about tmr’s dinner. Kay bye! XOXO.

Like a stake through my heart.

Long updates would stay here, but most of my rantings would be at WWW.CHRISTABELLEEE.TUMBLR.COM